Orual's Judgment: Till We Have Faces - Kate Bennett

 I am the Goddess of Mercy. I open my mind and heart to difficult situations and extend my forgiveness even at times when one may not be deserving of my forgiveness. I am the greatest confidant one could have, and an even greater enemy. While I am the Goddess of Mercy, my mercy is not guaranteed. You must prove to me that your circumstance is worth forgiving, and that you have truly been blind to your intentions. If I find that I am being lied to, I will withdraw any level of grace that I may have extended to you in the past. Should you tell me the truth, I will ensure that you are rightfully forgiven. I hope to be able to extend my mercy to you in the end, but the choice, Orual, is ultimately yours. 

I have been watching you since you were a child. For years, I have watched you be deprived of the love that a child needs, as your father was too scorned by the loss of his former wives, and too angry by his lack of heirs, to extend the grace you deserved at the time. At the same time, I watched you continuously bicker with your sister Redival, always just missing the mark of making a real connection. Once your youngest sister Psyche was born, any relationship with Redival was thrown out of the window - you abandoned her. Worse than this, your feelings toward Psyche started to become obsessive. You constantly wished she would reciprocate the intense love you so gladly offered her, and developed a severe jealousy towards anyone who wished to love her like you did. It is not right to want control over another being, Orual, especially not the sister who looks up to you so. Further than this, you have encouraged Psyche to put herself in danger by betraying her husband and revealing his image in the candlelight. You have tirelessly consulted the advice of Fox and fail to appreciate him to the level he deserves. As you grew older, your capacity to serve him in some of the ways he served you grew stronger, yet you did not move to repay him very quickly. You have failed to see Bardia’s worth when it was most relevant. He has walked with you through many stages of life, yet you did not realize your feelings for him until it was too late. Even further, you forced him to over-exert him and left him to suffer an early death. For this, you have failed to pay appropriate repentance, yet I was willing to hear your case. 

That was until I learned of your inability to see the truth that was finally revealed to you. After hearing of your interaction with the temple priest of Essur, I was hopeful that you would be made aware of your wrongdoings at last. You failed to assume responsibility for the pain that you have caused to those around you, and the jealousy that you have exerted on your sister and her life. You failed to allow the truth to be revealed. While I was willing to give you time to process, as this was obviously to be a shocking discovery, I did not expect you to turn your back on the situation completely. How could you not have questioned why the castle isn't visible to you? How could you accuse Psyche, your most trusted companion, of being distruthful about her circumstance? The actions of the Gods are not always understandable at first, but there is always a reason for their methods. You should have trusted your sister, as she trusted her husband. You should have been more careful to not let your jealousy consume you. 

Dear Orual, it is not my intention to hurt you, for you have been hurt so many times before. However, this behavior is unacceptable. I want above all to grant you my mercy, but I need you to open your eyes to the trouble you have caused these past years. I know you did not mean to do harm. I know you simply loved your sister for providing you with the love that was taken from you so early. Do you see what you have done? Do you feel sorry for the pain you have caused, not just to your sisters, but the people who chose to be your family as well? I am willing to accept that you were not lucid to these malicious intentions, but you must prove to me that you were unaware of your mistakes. Should you be able to do so, I will gladly, yet slowly extend my hand toward forgiveness. If the wrong you have done proves to be purposeful, however, you will have betrayed one of the only Gods that would be willing to forgive you at such a low. As I have said, the choice is yours, Orual, and I hope you choose wisely.