#1 - Childhood Loss (Aubrey Torre)

For as long as I can remember, I have missed my grandma. She passed away when I was a little over a year old, and I can’t even really explain just how much I miss her. Even with it being 20 years, and only really knowing her through stories, I still tear up when I think of her. My Papa told me that I knew the sound of her car pulling up in the driveway, and that when I heard it I would crawl towards the door to wait for her. 

It almost feels like a part of me is missing if that makes any sense? It’s almost as if she occupied so much of my heart that she took a piece of it with her when she went. I missed out on truly knowing her. I can look at the paintings she created and wonder what she was thinking, but I can’t really ask her how it felt in the moment. I can’t remember her voice, but I know she used to sing me songs. I know what her favorite flowers are, but I can’t make them grow. 

It’s an odd feeling that I don’t think I will ever truly understand. Almost like she’s with me, but in some other universe. What I do know is that a profound loss in the early stages of childhood has stuck with me, and in some way it connects me to her. I know I will cherish the stories of her for the rest of my life, I just wish she was here to see it.



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